Saturday, February 21, 2009

Wrong Personified

One of the many true myths and legends in the close-knit community of New Heandunigna, also known as Hendon-on-Selarang.

Many call this man the god of Wrong.
Many believe him to be the offspring of Eris, goddess of discord;
Brother to Dysnomia, patroness of anarchy.
His name is Wrong!

If you make him a C++ boolean variable,
And assign upon him a value (true or false).
The value will be Wrong.
If you make him true, he will return false.
If you make him false, he will return true,
But still Wrong!

He is the Wrong Source of Information:
Everything he says is Wrong.
He will tell you his name, but it is Wrong.
He will show you his name tag, but it is Wrong. It's someone else's.
He will tell you he is a staff sergeant, and he will be Wrong.
He will tell you that he is an undercover, and he will be Wrong.
He will tell you that he is a ranger, and he will be Wrong.
He will tell you that he studied at a polytechnic, and he will be Wrong.
He will tell you anything, and he will be Wrong.
He is Wrong!

When he tells you it will rain tomorrow, there will be drought for three months.
When he tells you there will be drought,
The rain tomorrow will make Sungei Selarang overflow.
When he tells you all is well, the night will feature a turn-out.
When he tells you about an impending turn-out,
The company will slumber peacefully till Friday afternoon.

He tells you that he is sick, but he is Wrong.
He tells you that he is allowed to wear shorts to lunch, but he is Wrong.
He tells you that the doctor said so,
But only afterwards will he go to the medical center,
To coerce the poor feller.
So that he may partake in his own being Wrong
And sanction it upon paper.
And then he will tell you that he is Really Sick,
but that just makes it Wronger.

He says he is tired of your taunts, but he is Wrong.
He threatens to find your house outside, but he is Wrong.
He swears to seek revenge, but he is Wrong.
He will rant and he will roar at you, but he is Wrong,
And quite Unintelligible.

They wanted to bring the Lord of Wrong to justice.
They wanted to Right the Wrong --
But they were proven to be quite wrong.
Life with Wrong can be quite unbearable.
To be Wrong himself can be quite pitiable.
But Wrong is resilient.
All justice and truth bounces off the Wrong harmlessly.

Now he thinks that he owns the guard house;
That's Wrong too.

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